Soooo, I haven't written in awhile. Life has been hectic and I have been lazy. And in my laziness, I have watched a lot of tv, which has brought up some interesting things to ponder.
Ok, so I'm sure anyone reading this (if there is anyone) has watched either Hoarders or Animal Hoarders, or both. Now, when I watch Hoarders, in my head I'm thinking "god, these people are ridiculous! Its such an easy fix: buy trash bags, pitch shit. Get over it!".
Now clearly, I know that this is some neurological disorder and its not that easy but still. You have a closet filled with grocery bags filled with your own feces cuz you can't get to your toilet?!? GROSS!
But then I watch Animal Hoarders and I go, "Yeah, I can see how they got to where they are." I totally rationalize it cuz I would so be that person to want to save 2-3 dogs and end up in a mobile home with 74 dogs, 12 parakeets, and 19 ferrets in my bedroom while i sleep on a fold out kitchen table with a urine stained blanket.
HOW TERRIBLE IS THAT?!?!?!
I mean, should I be worried about myself? I got dog #2 coming in April and all I can think is, "this is how it always starts out. you think "oh two dogs is nothing. PLENTY of people have two dogs...." and then it snowballs.
yup. I'm screwed.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Different strokes for different folks
Ok, so one little thing about me you might be interested to know (or could not care less about, whatev) is that I studied art history in college and now work at an art museum here in st. louis. I absolutely love art but it can be a conflicting place to work when you live in a world of heroine chic models and 95 pound actresses, but then you go to work and are surrounded by paintings that have idealized and romanticized these rennaissance women who are lying around naked with their love handles and back rolls laying all over the place. GUYS LOVED THAT BACK THEN! clearly, some of us were born in the wrong time period, but I digress.
Ok, no joke, I once read (like a year ago) an article in US Weekly that said "Ben Affleck, slimming down to 145 pounds, looks amazing!" Oh my, you know there's a problem with the world when as a 5'4'' girl you weigh 7 pounds more than Ben Affleck. See that's the thing, US Weekly is like my Bible and I even have the US Weekly iphone app that I check like 3 times a day, but all it does is subconsiously teach me to hate myself. All I need is millions of dollars, a personal trainer, and a drug addiction and I can have the body of my dreams!!! eh, no thanks.
Ok, so anyway, the point of this little bloggy blog was to tell you about something I saw on TV last night. Ok, let's take a poll: raise your hands if you've ever watched the show "Strange Sex". Well damn, I can't really see if you're raising your hand.
But this show goes around the world showing you all these weird fetishes and practices and sexual cults that people are doin these days.
And sidenote, they are always THE WEIRDEST LOOKING PEOPLE you've ever seen.
But last night I was up at one in the morning cuz my dumb ass drank coffee at like 3 p.m. and the episode was the countdown to the strangest of the strange from the past year. The number one strangest sex? Alright, get this: it was this couple, the man was a black man who was a very average size. Nothing remarkable in any way about him. But his girlfriend was a white woman who weighed over 600 pounds!
His fetish was her fat. He got aroused watching her eat and loved to cook for her and play with her fat and whatnot. She said during the interview that her goals was to get to 1,000 pounds. But something really weird (ok its all really weird but...) she said was that there was nothing sexier than the fact that she is entirely dependent on her boyfriend because her weight has left her so immobile.
Now don't get me wrong, I love having my boyfriend around to change lightbulbs and hang paintings and take down the christmas lights (even though he didn't do that til february. we're totally the hoosiers on our block), but if i had to depend on him to grab me a glass out of the cabinet or any other little mundane task, i'd go ape shit.
And they could only have sex at a downward/upside down angle so that her stomach would hang back enough that he could find her business. i mean, wow. and it was so funny cuz she was talking whilst eating literally one dozen eggs, and she said "people think its unhealthy but i actually have perfect blood pressure and i stay away from butter and salts". Ahhh yes, the HEALTHY 600 pound woman. riiiiiiiiiiight.
I mean, to each his own. Whatever floats your boat. I'm just sayin there's a (not so) fine line between a man loving a woman with a little meat on her bones and a man needing to hang his woman upside down like a pig in a butcher shop in order to pork her (pun TOTALLY intended).
Ok, no joke, I once read (like a year ago) an article in US Weekly that said "Ben Affleck, slimming down to 145 pounds, looks amazing!" Oh my, you know there's a problem with the world when as a 5'4'' girl you weigh 7 pounds more than Ben Affleck. See that's the thing, US Weekly is like my Bible and I even have the US Weekly iphone app that I check like 3 times a day, but all it does is subconsiously teach me to hate myself. All I need is millions of dollars, a personal trainer, and a drug addiction and I can have the body of my dreams!!! eh, no thanks.
Ok, so anyway, the point of this little bloggy blog was to tell you about something I saw on TV last night. Ok, let's take a poll: raise your hands if you've ever watched the show "Strange Sex". Well damn, I can't really see if you're raising your hand.
But this show goes around the world showing you all these weird fetishes and practices and sexual cults that people are doin these days.
And sidenote, they are always THE WEIRDEST LOOKING PEOPLE you've ever seen.
But last night I was up at one in the morning cuz my dumb ass drank coffee at like 3 p.m. and the episode was the countdown to the strangest of the strange from the past year. The number one strangest sex? Alright, get this: it was this couple, the man was a black man who was a very average size. Nothing remarkable in any way about him. But his girlfriend was a white woman who weighed over 600 pounds!
His fetish was her fat. He got aroused watching her eat and loved to cook for her and play with her fat and whatnot. She said during the interview that her goals was to get to 1,000 pounds. But something really weird (ok its all really weird but...) she said was that there was nothing sexier than the fact that she is entirely dependent on her boyfriend because her weight has left her so immobile.
Now don't get me wrong, I love having my boyfriend around to change lightbulbs and hang paintings and take down the christmas lights (even though he didn't do that til february. we're totally the hoosiers on our block), but if i had to depend on him to grab me a glass out of the cabinet or any other little mundane task, i'd go ape shit.
And they could only have sex at a downward/upside down angle so that her stomach would hang back enough that he could find her business. i mean, wow. and it was so funny cuz she was talking whilst eating literally one dozen eggs, and she said "people think its unhealthy but i actually have perfect blood pressure and i stay away from butter and salts". Ahhh yes, the HEALTHY 600 pound woman. riiiiiiiiiiight.
I mean, to each his own. Whatever floats your boat. I'm just sayin there's a (not so) fine line between a man loving a woman with a little meat on her bones and a man needing to hang his woman upside down like a pig in a butcher shop in order to pork her (pun TOTALLY intended).
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Welcome!
Oh hey! I didn't see you there! Well welcome to my blog! I don't really know what I'm doing with this, but I do know that I have A LOT of free time on my hands to sit around and think about unimportant issues and then come up with 45 minute arguments on why they should be important issues.
So pull up a chair, kick off your shoes, and make yourself comfortable! I figure at some point I could buck up and decide on a basic theme for this site, but right now I'm just not motivated enough at all. So, in lieu of organization and planning, I'll just provide you with a little list of topics that you may hear (or is it see) me rant about on here:
1. Hence the title of the blog, dieting is an issue...or rather, my lack of ability to do so. You will hear plenty of times me crying over my supersized big mac meal about why I'm only a size 8 and not a size 4. Yes, I realize how ridiculous that is. The power is in my hands, be the change you wish to see, a size 8 isn't "that big"....blah blah blah. Whatever. Its my blog! If I wanna eat a tub of lard and then complain that I look like a tub of lard, SO BE IT!
2. I have an unhealthfully (is that a word?) long list of pet peeves/things that bug me that will be discussed: poor table manners (shoot me now), hypocrites (we'll ignore the fact that because of the whole food issue in my life, i am also a hypocrite. now a hypocrite who hates hypocrites....there's a brain buster!), hoosiers (or rednecks for those of you who aren't from st. louis), cat people (why would you pay $200 for an animal that hates you?!), bad tippers, being rude to strangers, bad drivers, or just anyone on the road who isn't me, poor grammar, people who are late, people who still have bumper stickers from elections that were like 8 years ago (give it up, you lost. go buy yourself a new sticker), anyone from an episode of hoarders, jersey shore, real housewives, the kardashians, divorce court, etc....
Ok this list actually has like another 5 miles to it and I'm just kinda realizing how horrible and negative its making me sound. So rather than continue and make you want to NEVER read my blog, let's move on! Shall we?
OH WAIT! One more! People who constantly take pictures of themselves and post them to facebook hoping to get as many compliments as possible. OOOH that one takes the cake!
Mmmmmm.....cake. Again, moving on.
3. Worthless Hollywood gossip
4. Random humorous, obnoxious, or thought-provoking stories from my day-to-day life
5. And of course, any youtube video, "inspirational" (or lack there of) quote I'd like to debate, photos of my miniature schnauzer dressed in clothes, cuz yes, I am that person, etc.
6. And any suggestions you wanna throw my way, have at it!
So pull up a chair, kick off your shoes, and make yourself comfortable! I figure at some point I could buck up and decide on a basic theme for this site, but right now I'm just not motivated enough at all. So, in lieu of organization and planning, I'll just provide you with a little list of topics that you may hear (or is it see) me rant about on here:
1. Hence the title of the blog, dieting is an issue...or rather, my lack of ability to do so. You will hear plenty of times me crying over my supersized big mac meal about why I'm only a size 8 and not a size 4. Yes, I realize how ridiculous that is. The power is in my hands, be the change you wish to see, a size 8 isn't "that big"....blah blah blah. Whatever. Its my blog! If I wanna eat a tub of lard and then complain that I look like a tub of lard, SO BE IT!
2. I have an unhealthfully (is that a word?) long list of pet peeves/things that bug me that will be discussed: poor table manners (shoot me now), hypocrites (we'll ignore the fact that because of the whole food issue in my life, i am also a hypocrite. now a hypocrite who hates hypocrites....there's a brain buster!), hoosiers (or rednecks for those of you who aren't from st. louis), cat people (why would you pay $200 for an animal that hates you?!), bad tippers, being rude to strangers, bad drivers, or just anyone on the road who isn't me, poor grammar, people who are late, people who still have bumper stickers from elections that were like 8 years ago (give it up, you lost. go buy yourself a new sticker), anyone from an episode of hoarders, jersey shore, real housewives, the kardashians, divorce court, etc....
Ok this list actually has like another 5 miles to it and I'm just kinda realizing how horrible and negative its making me sound. So rather than continue and make you want to NEVER read my blog, let's move on! Shall we?
OH WAIT! One more! People who constantly take pictures of themselves and post them to facebook hoping to get as many compliments as possible. OOOH that one takes the cake!
Mmmmmm.....cake. Again, moving on.
3. Worthless Hollywood gossip
4. Random humorous, obnoxious, or thought-provoking stories from my day-to-day life
5. And of course, any youtube video, "inspirational" (or lack there of) quote I'd like to debate, photos of my miniature schnauzer dressed in clothes, cuz yes, I am that person, etc.
6. And any suggestions you wanna throw my way, have at it!
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