Ok, so one little thing about me you might be interested to know (or could not care less about, whatev) is that I studied art history in college and now work at an art museum here in st. louis. I absolutely love art but it can be a conflicting place to work when you live in a world of heroine chic models and 95 pound actresses, but then you go to work and are surrounded by paintings that have idealized and romanticized these rennaissance women who are lying around naked with their love handles and back rolls laying all over the place. GUYS LOVED THAT BACK THEN! clearly, some of us were born in the wrong time period, but I digress.
Ok, no joke, I once read (like a year ago) an article in US Weekly that said "Ben Affleck, slimming down to 145 pounds, looks amazing!" Oh my, you know there's a problem with the world when as a 5'4'' girl you weigh 7 pounds more than Ben Affleck. See that's the thing, US Weekly is like my Bible and I even have the US Weekly iphone app that I check like 3 times a day, but all it does is subconsiously teach me to hate myself. All I need is millions of dollars, a personal trainer, and a drug addiction and I can have the body of my dreams!!! eh, no thanks.
Ok, so anyway, the point of this little bloggy blog was to tell you about something I saw on TV last night. Ok, let's take a poll: raise your hands if you've ever watched the show "Strange Sex". Well damn, I can't really see if you're raising your hand.
But this show goes around the world showing you all these weird fetishes and practices and sexual cults that people are doin these days.
And sidenote, they are always THE WEIRDEST LOOKING PEOPLE you've ever seen.
But last night I was up at one in the morning cuz my dumb ass drank coffee at like 3 p.m. and the episode was the countdown to the strangest of the strange from the past year. The number one strangest sex? Alright, get this: it was this couple, the man was a black man who was a very average size. Nothing remarkable in any way about him. But his girlfriend was a white woman who weighed over 600 pounds!
His fetish was her fat. He got aroused watching her eat and loved to cook for her and play with her fat and whatnot. She said during the interview that her goals was to get to 1,000 pounds. But something really weird (ok its all really weird but...) she said was that there was nothing sexier than the fact that she is entirely dependent on her boyfriend because her weight has left her so immobile.
Now don't get me wrong, I love having my boyfriend around to change lightbulbs and hang paintings and take down the christmas lights (even though he didn't do that til february. we're totally the hoosiers on our block), but if i had to depend on him to grab me a glass out of the cabinet or any other little mundane task, i'd go ape shit.
And they could only have sex at a downward/upside down angle so that her stomach would hang back enough that he could find her business. i mean, wow. and it was so funny cuz she was talking whilst eating literally one dozen eggs, and she said "people think its unhealthy but i actually have perfect blood pressure and i stay away from butter and salts". Ahhh yes, the HEALTHY 600 pound woman. riiiiiiiiiiight.
I mean, to each his own. Whatever floats your boat. I'm just sayin there's a (not so) fine line between a man loving a woman with a little meat on her bones and a man needing to hang his woman upside down like a pig in a butcher shop in order to pork her (pun TOTALLY intended).
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